


Can't Have You

by can_i_be_your_star__love



Series: Jaith/Jeith Song Fics [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 11:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18093335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/can_i_be_your_star__love/pseuds/can_i_be_your_star__love
Summary: Keith regrets.





	Can't Have You

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic based off of the Jonas Brothers' song Can't Have You. This will be a series so please send in requests in the comment section!

“Do you think Shiro is… that he’s gone?”

The boy in question stopped dead in his tracks. The soft breeze silently passed by the two teenagers, as if t was a sign. He didn’t know what to answer. Did he still believe the garrison made a mistake? Did he still believe in the person who promised he would come back without failure? Did he still believe that he was alive? He didn’t know. It had been months and there was no sign of him coming back.

“I… I don’t know, Anakin,” He forced his mouth to move, forced himself to try to make himself sound decent. But, he just sounded broken, _shattered_.

Keith didn’t make a move to comfort the boy because James’ words were painful. _He doesn’t know?_ Had James lost faith in their mentor? In their brother? Keith didn’t know what to say. _Of course he doesn’t care about Shiro, Keith_ . _He wasn’t as close to him as you were_ . _He even said no to your question once, what else is there to say?_ The looming doubt and distress in his head kept whispering to him. James had lost hope in Shrio? That of itself is hateful.

“You don’t believe in him anymore? Is that what it is, _James_?” Keith felt resent towards the boy in front of him. He hadn’t called him his nickname and that pierced more that Keith will ever know, but he hadn’t cared; he was blinded with contempt.

James remembers when the Star Wars themed nicknames had started. It had been movie night with just Shiro, Keith, and him. They decided that Shiro was the greatest mentor like Obi-Wan Kenobi with Keith as his student and James as Keith’s lover.

James clenched his hands, but didn’t turn to look at him. He stood there, his back still towards Keith. “That’s not.. Of course not.. How, How can I do that to Obi-Wan?” James couldn’t find anything to say.

This conversation had happened many times before, but it was never this tame between them. When James had said no, he had been stressed and delusional. Many things were broken by the end of the fight and soon word had spread that Keith was staying at Shiro’s old dorm room, while James was left in theirs. Over the course of the days following that event, they’d both apologized and Keith went back to their dorm room. Now months later, everything still wasn’t the same and Keith was at the edge of expulsion.

Keith was beyond gone at this point. James wasn’t making sense to him. They had to believe that Shiro would come back. _They had to._ “I don’t know, James. How can you do that to Shiro?”

“Can… Can we talk about this when you’re stable, Anakin?” James’ voice croaked out, barely above a whisper.

Keith couldn’t handle it anymore. “When I’m stable? James, I feel perfectly fine. But, you… Are you stable? Because you’re not acting like yourself anymore! You’ve been so selfish for the past few months, can’t you just believe that Shiro’s coming back! That’s all I want from you-”

“No! _Keith_ ! That isn’t all that you want for me! I’ve been selfish? That’s what you’ve been thinking this whole time?! Well, what about you! It isn’t like you’re any different! I’m trying my best here alright?! I’ve been trying so goddamn hard to stay by your side and be _stable._ While you’re still acting like five year old brat whose candy was taken away! I believe in Shiro so much. I believed it him so much it literally hurt, but look Keith! Open your eyes!”

Can’t you see! There’s no actual evidence if he’s dead or alive! The garrison won’t tell us anything and we can’t go into space without the proper education and equipment! And guess what? Guess what Keith! We can’t do that when you’re picking a fight with everyone who’s trying to console you! So I’m sorry! I’m sorry I’m not enough for everything that you wanted.”

James had finally turned around and stomped towards his boyfriend. And for the first time in months, Keith saw just how tired James was. His usually clean-cut hair was a mess and he had the darkest eye bags Keith had ever seen on him. He looked so exhausted and Keith was the reason for it.

After James’ outburst, Keith couldn’t say a word. And James was just so, so tired of it. “I’m done, Keith. I can’t do this anymore.”

And he left, but Keith still couldn’t believe it.

* * *

You warned me that you were gonna leave

I never thought you would really go

* * *

 

Keith walked into their dorm room and noticed immediately that James was tucked into his bed. His back towards him again. Keith walked towards the bed and slipped into the covers with him. Hugging James waist as if he’ll disappear any second.

“Keith? Keith? Keith, wake up. Everyone’s already at the dining room, you’ll miss breakfast again,” It was Shiro.

Keith sat up, alarmed. “What?”

“Woah, don’t get up too quickly.” Shiro placed his hand on his shoulder, noticing the distressed look on his face. “A bad dream?”

“Yeah, a pretty stupid one too.”

“Glad to hear you’re still sparky in the morning, now come on. Hunk made food other than that slime today.”

Shiro smiled at him then stood up and left, waiting for Keith to follow up.

“Yeah, a stupid ass dream.”

* * *

I was blind but baby now I see

Broke your heart but now I know

* * *

 

“Keith, Come on sleepy head. You gotta get up or else you’ll fall behind in class.” James stood above him.

Keith groaned and grabbed James’ wrist, pulling the cadet back under the covers with him. “They won’t mind. I’m the best pilot in the class… they’ve got… nothing on me.”

Keith just kept falling back asleep, so James had to use his last resort. “If you don’t let me go and get to class, no kisses for the whole week.”

Now, that. That got Keith’s attention.

“You’re gonna do what?”

“You heard me, now let me go. I ironed your uniform, it’s in the closet and you know where the rest is.”

“Alright, Padmé.”

* * *

That I was bein' such a fool

And that I didn't deserve you

* * *

 "Keith, who was that? Padmé? Is that their name?" Krolia asked her son, stroking Cosmo's fur.

Keith stared into the fire they'd made. "No, I don't want to talk about it." Unconsciously, Keith reached out toward the sheath of his knife. It held something only two people knew about and he wished they hadn't known about it at all. "I'm going to walk around for anything new."

He didn't give his mother a chance to respond and left the cave.

* * *

Lookin' at the letter that you left

The letter that you left, will I ever get you back?

* * *

Keith unsheathed the knife and set it aside. reaching for a small pocket inside the sheath. A letter, old and slightly crumpled, was folded as best as Keith could at the time, and he took it out. He hadn't seen James for three years at this point and was regretting it more than ever. After this war, he'll go back to earth and apologize. And although he didn't think he deserved James' forgiveness and love, he owes him an apology.

"Keith?" His mother's voice called him.

He looked up and suddenly realized that tears were streaming down his face. Krolia didn't ask him anything further and hugged him.

"I miss him so much."

"I know, Keith. I know." She said, reading the discarded letter beside him.

* * *

Wondering if I'll ever get you back

Dreaming about when I'll see you next

* * *

"I love you, James."

"I love you, Keith."

Keith always loved that about James. He never said 'I love you more' or 'I love you too', because to the both of them. From the moment they met, unrequited feelings will always exist between them and Keith will always remember.

* * *

Knowing that I will never forget

I won't forget, I won't forget

* * *

"No."

"What do you mean no?!" Keith shook in anger.

"He's gone, Anakin! You heard what Iverson said!" James threw his hands in the air. "Mission Failure! Anakin! What else could've happened?! You think something abducted him!?"

Keith gritted his teeth and threw the closest thing near him. James yelped. "Don't say that! Shiro's out there! I know he is!"

"So what if he is out there! We have no way of getting to him, except waiting! And you're here getting yourself in trouble. Is that what Shiro would've wanted!"

Keith shoved everything off of his desk and flared. "Just shut up!"

"No! You need to understan-"

"I said shut up!"

A tablet went flying beside James' head and shattered. James slumped to his knees and Keith stomped away.

* * *

That I was bein' such a fool

And that I still don't deserve you

* * *

 


End file.
